Wait… But, “why”?
Are you asking yourself the right questions?
Don’t ask ‘why’, instead ask ‘why not’ — JFK
We tend to ask ourselves the wrong set of questions in search for a better outcome to our problems.
The concern — with this almost-intuitive decision
Asking the wrong questions often leads to creating an eternal flow of imaginary scenarios — scenarios that we mold in our minds to find possible solutions that will best suit our needs.
What’s the big deal?
Well, these scenarios are imaginary (as the word suggests), and therefore non-existent — make-believe — rubbish.
But yet, we do a fantastic job convincing ourselves that we are correct.
So, we create a make-believe environment by allowing our minds to freely take over and “solve” our questions — In reality not answers but merely suggestions.
— Yes, Barbie Girl living in a Barbie World, life in plastic…not so fantastic.
The Elephant in the Room
The magical question “why?” — When dealing with a difficult situation we often ask:
“Why” me?
“Why” now?
“Why” here?
“Why”, “why”, “why”?
— Do any of these questions ring a bell?
Let’s Play A Game
For a moment, pretend that the Universe, God, Krishna, Allah, or an Omnipotent Supreme Being, Creator of Worlds, has an answer to your all of your “whys”.
— Let’s just hope your list is short, Curious George.
— What exactly would you do with this information?
— How is knowing “why” going to allow you to grow and develop physically, mentally or spiritually?
The reality of the situation
In a non-utopian world, the “whys” are simple ways of delivering our problems to that Supreme Being by passing along the blame of our situation.
“Whys” are rhetorical questions of our existence; asked to convince ourselves that we are not responsible of our situation.
— Go ahead Casanova, continue seducing your mind to believe that you are in charge.
Stop asking yourself “why?”
Organizational psychologist Tasha Eurich explains in her book Insight:
When you’re facing a difficult situation, or you’ve screwed up in some capacity[…]
Ask yourself “what” questions instead of “why” questions.
“[…] when we ask ourselves those ‘why’ questions, it takes us down a spiral of self-loathing.
“It makes us depressed; it tends to make us beat ourselves up in a non-productive way.
But if we can ask the question of ‘what,’ that’s more future-oriented. That can make all the difference in the world.”
In order to encourage change, we need to practice shifting our focus from the “whys” to the “hows” and “whats” — focusing on finding answers to what we need to change and how we can change it.
For Reals
That situation you are in, that person who’s part/not part of your life, that one thing that keeps you up at night will not subside by knowing “why” — It will not.
— Sorry, not sorry.
Do it! Take Charge!
Instead of asking “why” —
ask for guidance,
ask for direction,
ask for good-energy,
ask for perseverance,
ask for greatness,
ask “why not”.
Ask the right questions if you’re to find the right answers — Vanessa Redgrave
Visualize freely and allow for your mind to build the “scenarios” you are really hoping to pursue by asking yourself the right set of questions.
— So, “what” is next?
